


you can't wake up (this is not a dream)

by CMDRHill (JaneGlen)



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Platonic Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-14
Updated: 2016-03-14
Packaged: 2018-05-26 14:35:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6243268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JaneGlen/pseuds/CMDRHill
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An addendum to shuofthewind's "you are part of a machine (you are not a human being)". Can possibly be read on it's own, but shouldn't be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	you can't wake up (this is not a dream)

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [you are part of a machine (you are not a human being)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4762685) by [shuofthewind](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shuofthewind/pseuds/shuofthewind). 



> Set during CA:TWS, after Fury's "death" but before Maria goes out to rescue Nat, Steve, and "who's this guy" Sam.  
> You can probably follow this if you haven't read Shu's work, but you should really go read Shu's work. I do not do it justice. Go read the Trick to Binary Stars series. It's more than worth your time.

“Would you have read me in?” She's silently cursing herself from the moment the words escape, but she barrels on, “If we-If I didn’t have a way of knowing, would you have left me in the dark?”

She blames the fatigue, the emotional toil of watching Fury, her boss, her _soulmate_ (she’s spent her entire life fighting the weight of the words, but fact stands) nearly die (almost die, practically die, all _but_ die) without her being able to do a thing about it. Trapped on the other side of the glass, Natasha and Rogers to her right, it had sucked the energy right out of her.

She never...she’s questioned Fury, sure, challenged him at every turn (that was what had earned her her position as his right hand after all), but this, this is different. They don’t speak about the bond. They never discuss personal lives, or the emotional weight of their jobs, of SHIELD. To ask him about a choice like this, a hypothetical tied into their soulmarks... To say it isn’t like her is to say a kitten is unlike Steve Rogers. Truthful, but entirely understating the disparity.

Fury looks at her, a long stare that is just as intimidating from the hospital bed as it is from his full height. She matches his gaze; she might regret asking, but she commits herself to her words. She never takes back anything. She learned long ago not to say things she couldn’t stand behind, and she will not cower in the wake of an exhaustion-fueled error.

Nearly dying must have rattled Fury as much as it rattled her, because he gives her a real answer, gruff and weighted though it may be.

“I needed _someone_ , and it's not like Doc Fine can go scurry out into the field to rescue them. I’ve trusted you for a while, Hill.” He pauses for a moment, “The words have nothing to do with that. They never have.”

Maria recognizes that the conversation is over. She wishes it had never happened, but the ship has sailed, docked, and unloaded, and there's no undoing time. She collects herself, and nods, "Thank you, sir, I appreciate your trust and honesty," she replies with as much softness as she can muster, "I will do what I can to bring in the others by evening."

"I know you will, Maria. Dismissed."

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. I hope Shu feels that I have done a fair job. I don't think I have done The Trick to Binary Stars justice. Go read it. You'll see.  
> 2\. I have more thoughts for Nick & Maria, but this conversation felt finished. I may add more chapters. If I do, they will not be in chronological order.


End file.
